Appeal

She was at her special place when she felt unhappy… 

It is a place that overlook the sea from a height, surrounded by lush green trees, like the embrace of a mother. 

Today, she had received her colleague's wedding invitation. She was happy, yet each time she heard of another wedding, she was reminded of her own loneliness. 

She had finished university, secured a good job, advanced in her career, saved some money, and now, Aysel found herself in her mid-forties. She had continuously postponed marriage, but as her friend said, postponing it had turned it into a significant problem. 

Marriage both scares and secretly excites her. She was afraid because, by this age, she had established her own routine. Her way of life had become ingrained. She wasn’t sure if she could build a shared life with someone else. 

In her teenage years, she had dreams and goals she wanted to achieve. She had accomplished nearly all of them. She chuckled to herself, thinking, "I wish 'being married, happy, and having children' had been one of my goals back then." 

She hasn’t wanted much, just a spouse who shares common values. Someone she could rest her head on, someone she could trust... She has very basic desires like going on vacations together, chatting, and visiting friends. Isn’t life more beautiful when shared? Who has been created to be alone? 

Seda has been a friend Aysel has trusted in all matters. She had said something interesting: 

"You need to enhance your appeal…"

She had never thought, "I should be charming…" until now, but now that she thought about it, she wasn’t sure if she had any appeal. 

What does "appeal" mean, anyway? 

She called Seda and arranged to meet for coffee. 

Seda came in with a beaming smile. Perhaps this was why Aysel wanted to hear about it from her. Seda has been someone who has appeal in her family, work life, and social circle, someone people are happy to be around. 

As soon as she arrived, Seda noticed the sadness hidden behind Aysel's smile. It was clear that Aysel was overwhelmed and searching for a solution. 

One had a problem, the other had a solution… The two friends would never forget the taste of that coffee for years to come…                                                    

So, what does "appeal" mean? 

How has been it gained? 

Is attractiveness something that could only be achieved through tangible means? A person couldn’t truly have appeal without developing their intangible talents. 

Beautiful eyes might become ordinary over time, but eyes that look beautifully, that smile from within, would always remain extraordinary. They would always be missed, people would always want to be near them. 

A smile is a timeless appeal. 

Especially when placed on the face of a lively woman… 

A man's biceps might attract attention at first, but if that strength doesn’t translate into protection and support in a woman’s life, it would lose its appeal over time. 

A shoulder without biceps but that provides protection and security would seem more appealing to a person. Which woman wouldn’t want a man who has the strength to lean on when getting married? 

Everyone wants someone who completes the aspects they lack in their life. But the more a person focuses on their own physical and emotional needs, the more selfish they become, and bonds cannot be built on selfishness. In the end, those bonds break. 

Focusing on the other person’s needs before your own is the gateway to appeal… 

Who wouldn’t want someone who 

Presents benefits well, 

Makes things easier, 

Is generous with gratitude and smiles in their life? 

What person wouldn’t find these qualities attractive… 

The last thing a person should think about is their own needs, because the more one sees others' needs, the more their own needs will begin to be met. 

People don’t want to lose those who bring benefits to their lives; they do everything they can to keep them. Thus, a synergy begins in relationships. 

This is how bonds tighten, and transformation begins in relationships. 

In the Experiential Design Teaching, in the Mastery in Relationships training;

What is communication and relationships, 

How to build bonds, how to become a family, 

What appeals a person should have and what repulsiveness they should avoid, are explained in detail…

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Since the beginning of time, humanity's purpose has never changed. 

To be happy, successful, and have good relationships. 

The Experiential Design Teaching has adopted the purpose of humanity. With the strategies offered in the "Who is Who," "Mastery in Relationships," and "Success Psychology" programs, it helps people become more successful, happier, and more skillful than yesterday. 

"There is always someone who knows better above every scholar."

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